Hello there,

My wife and I have been together about 10 years at this point, and as we go along I am feeling more and more like a workhorse for chores.

Most of our interactions are her telling me about some project she needs to do and me mentally noting what parts of it I need to do. i.e., build the deck, or mow the lawn, etc.

Or me, hearing her out about some issue she is having with work or personal, and listening until she feels better.

This has always been the case but it's not bothered me till this past week. I went out of town for a few days to a job interview with a company I liked.

When I got back she asked me how it went and I gave her a summary, then she spent the next 45-60 minutes telling me all of her concerns about the company and the new job.

I was hoping for her to help me make the choice about the job and clarify my thoughts but instead, I am having to clarify my own thoughts and emotions with myself and also deal with hers.

It got me thinking. What things should a husband rely on his wife for?

We both work, I do about 80-90% of daily chores/handle kids, and she does what she can, I don't think she needs to do more here.

For me, It feels like I have to take care of her so she can take care of everyone else and it leaves me with little options of people to talk with or anyone to make me feel loved or accepted.

On my trip, I feel like I very well could have emotionally cheated, but I don't want to be that guy.

I would like to hear from a happy couple or husband or wife about what they want their partner to rely on them for?

Sure there is Sex, but I can get sex pretty easily elsewhere if I put my mind to it.

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I feel like I just don't get it. And I worry my wife has no idea who I even am.

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tl;dr: I'm not sure what I should or should not rely on my wife for.