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TL;DR - My wife went for drinks with a guy she admittedly "had" a crush on. She used her debit card and paid in cash as opposed to the usual shared credit card she uses for ALL expenses. Is she cheating, or am I overthinking?
Context: We've been having issues in our marriage for the past few years. Kids, anxiety, different interests, and low libido with my wife hasn't helped. 2 weeks ago we got into a major fight and have had a few sensitive discussions about the viability of our marriage.
Last week I was away on a business trip. When I returned we were having a discussion and she said something that triggered a gut feeling something was off. The next day I was filing my business trip expenses and noticed an Uber charge on our shared credit card late at night that I didn't make. I asked her if she was cheating or seeing someone she said "no". I asked where she was on Tue night, and she said out with friends. I asked again were they "friends" or "a friend", she doubled down and saidd I was out with my dancing friends - a girl and a guy. Later on in the night, my suspicions started in overdrive. Why was there no charge for food/drink on our shared credit card (usual behavior) and just 1 Uber charge for the return trip? I confronted my wife and told her I don't believe her. She confessed that she went to see the guy alone - he is a dancing friend, she had a crush on him last year but they are just friends now. I asked who paid the bill, she said they split it. How come there isn't a credit card charge? I paid in cash. I haven't seen my wife pay in cash at a restaurant or bar in the past 5 years! Yet, she insisted that she does pay in cash when she is out with friends. Then I asked why 1 Uber charge. How did she get to the venue? She said she took an Uber and paid for it. Why wasn't there an sms notification? So we checked her phone and I found a bank authentication sms for 1USD at the time she took the Uber there. So she added her personal debit card (as opposed to the shared credit card which is the default payment method) to her Uber account on her way there so I don't receive the message for the Uber charge. I concluded that she paid by debit card to get there, cash for the drinks/food, but probably was tipsy which is why she used the wrong Uber account on her way back in a bid to cover her trail. She claims I'm overthinking it, she just didn't want me to feel bad shes going out with a friend while I'm on business and we were in a fight and that she isn't cheating and has never cheated on me.
Am I mad for being almost certain that she is cheating? Or is there a chance that it was a one time innocent chat with a friend over drinks? Please help with your insights!
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