tl;Dr Has anyone navigated a separation in the Scottish system without savings or family support?

Tried posting under r/separation but post was not allowed as only "trusted members" can post. I really don't have anywhere else to go for advice.

My husband and I have been married 12 years, were together for 4 years before marriage. We have my son from a previous relationship (19) who still lives at home as he is studying and working part time, plus a son together (10). Our home is owned outright so no mortgage, no joint finances or debt of any kind.

Things have now reached a point where I feel I have no choice but to separate. I have done individual therapy (private, paid for by myself,)for the last seven months to try and resolve my own issues and hopefully become a better partner and parent. My husband refuses couples counseling citing cost and lack of free time. That's his right, but I now feel that thats the one thing we haven't tried and if it's off the table there's nothing left and no point dragging things out further. The idea of becoming a part time parent breaks my heart but I can't continue in a relationship where I'm treated like a passenger in our life and boxed out of most decisions from how and when we see extended family to organising tradespeople when work needs done.

When I speak up about this my husband shuts down and becomes cold and unresponsive. He is capable of keeping this up indefinitely so I have no hope of an amicable, collaborative split and need to quietly arrange everything and present it as a fait accompli.

Unfortunately, I have no idea where to begin. I don't earn much money, only slightly above Living Wage, but bills etc.are 50/50 even though my husband significantly outearns me and is in line for a promotion that will pay several thousands more a year. My work is outside the home while his is WFH so I also have a lengthy commute and travel expenses which he does not. All this is to say, I have no savings because I need to hold up my end of the household budget plus pay for work travel, therapy and the occasional nice thing with my sons.

I cannot afford to stay in this house alone so in the event of a separation, I would have to be the one to leave. Where we currently live is five minutes from my youngest s school and has good transport links for the eldest to travel to college and work, so I feel that forcing them to move with me would be detrimental to them, plus I doubt I could afford to feed and house three people on my wage.

Both my parents are dead, I am not in touch with the extended family I have in this country ( have lived in Scotland most of my life but I am not from here), so there is no one who can put me up until I'm on my feet or advise me on how to navigate the legal system and benefits; I've worked since I was 18 so never been in contact with these institutions.

I am aware from reading online that the Scottish system works differently from the rest of the UK. I cannot afford a solicitor and am not interested in obtaining a legal divorce right at this moment, just in extricating myself from this unhealthy dynamic and feeling like a whole person again.

I'm so sorry for the extreme length of this post, I just wanted to make my situation as clear as I can. If anyone has navigated a separation in Scotland without savings or family support, please tell me how you did it and which if any organizations were of help to you.

Thank you for reading.