TL;DR had (yet another) big argument with wife because she was getting upset about something and I tried to make things better

Long version: through my entire life, I’ve used the presence of negative emotion as a sign that things need to change. The best example is the years that I was suicidally depressed and, instead of taking drugs to numb it, I spent more than two years being introspective to figure out the source and what needed to change (turned out, I really needed to be a father to feel worthwhile in my life). And making that change has brought about a lasting freedom from my depression even though things are sometimes more stressful.

Wife and I are late-30s, dual working household with two kids. Since we got together it’s been a recurring issue where I see her get stressed out, mad, or even have a medical problem like recurring nausea and I start trying to fix whatever is going on. This has always made her mad and, in the last few fights, she’s revealed to me that she feels like I’m controlling her by not letting her be upset. I explained my background and how “fixing” these kinds of issues is the entire reason we’re married and have children. I also explained that when she gets into these situations, her mood turns sour and she’s hard to be around, but nothing has helped. According to her, I’m supposed to let her be miserable and only help when I am specifically asked to do so. To me, this is completely unreasonable. I’ve spent my entire adult life hearing that a husband’s purpose is to keep a wife happy so they can lead a happy married life. It’s also a trust issue since I’ve seen her take so little care of herself that she’s passed out.

Am I wrong? Is my wife unreasonable? What’s the solution to this?