I’m a fairly new manager (just over a year). Generally things are pretty placid at work. My direct reports are warm with each other and with me. When an issue arises we talk it out and solve it.

But I’m curious how you more senior managers got over the fact that you’re likely frequently talked about by your direct reports. I know mine have a group text thread between them and follow one another on social media. Even though I am doing my very best (and have great feedback from my own boss) I know that they sometimes need to blow off steam about work and will talk about me amongst themselves. Lately I’ve been getting in my head about it despite the fact that I know it’s a normal thing to bitch about your boss.

Is this something I’ll get used to with time or are there things I can do now to help myself relax about it? Also—at what point does that kind of conversation go from expected employee behavior to toxic gossip?