In my early 20's I was kind of egotistical, but I tried to work on my issues , be empathetic, etc . But now I feel I am coming full circle. I am working on myself for myself (and making progress) and now I am realizing that outside intimacy, I really don't need a woman and I am all I need. Want a kids? Surrogacy or sperm bank. Need a hug? Have friends. Need sex? Well ways around that. And the final thing is validation. I was kinda right on my 20's. A little egoism seems a bit better than neediness and it seems like if I want to do something it is better to do it myself anyways.

People say oh love yourself (say buy yourself something etc.) but I just can't feel it. I do try to remind myself I made my life mostly on my own (with a little help from family), whereas most people just relied on what they have. I feel like I need to actualize my thoughts and push them from my mind and I to the real world.

Final aspect of this is due to my autism, I have tried the be social advice etc. but I think autism is inherently likeable, so I need to be more forceful with standing up for my wants and needs. The Calvary is not coming, but I am.

Any thoughts?