Wen my father died, my mom tried to be there, but ultimately it was me who held off suicidal thoughts and felt like I was my own savior. Now I feel like it would be nice to feel safe around someone, but seems like I need to be stronger for me 1 in all the relationships I have been in and it was less of a partnership and more how I could help her. Outside the biological needs and having someone that allows me to be me and likes me for my intellectual side and does not judge me for it, it would be nice to feel like I could relax and not have to watch my 6 all the time. I am realizing though I will probably need to pull that tinner hero out as no one else is going to.