Hello, everyone. Hope you are all having a wonderful weekend. I wanted to address something briefly on what is working out to be a beautiful day where I'm at. I am a clinical hypnotherapist and a good deal of my work is in what is called 'avocational self-improvement', which means non work-related (though I do vocational as well) self-improvement; much of that work is done with men struggling with where they are in life or self. Something I find myself addressing with my clients is the idea of having a positive mindset and what that even means; I've found the perception of the term is not the reality of the idea.

People tend to think that having a positive mindset means always being happy and upbeat. A perpetual smile on your face and a bounce in your step like a bizarre 50s sitcom. Let me be the first to tell you that's not it. A positive mindset requires 3 things to begin with: To be fully engaged in the present and to not be dwelling in the past or attempting to predict the future. I want everyone to think about that for a moment... how many unhappy moments in your life were from either fixating on negative events of the past or putting on a show in your head about all the ways everything was going to go wrong, often based upon that dwelling in the past? I know it was a pretty common theme for me!

The present is, more often than not, a positive. It truly shocked me how much better an experience I had in life when I removed those 2 factors from the present moment. Even if the present moment is a negative experience, it will always be better later. You don't need to try and predict how, just know that it will be because it always has before. It's not a matter of how, that's just how time works; when you can recognize that it takes the lingering burn away from unhappy moments. This is not an attempt to be reductive of any negative experiences any of you may be going through, but rather offering perspective on how to see past it.

Having a positive mindset doesn't mean seeing everything as positive. It means your mindset has a positive impact on your general mental state. You don't do that by being happy all the time. Can't, really. Trying to feel nothing but positive emotions is a denial of the human experience. A positive mindset can exist even in a negative environment and while feeling negative emotions so if you're feeling bad right now, that's ok. Feeling bad is part of being a person, but all emotion is transient. You may be unhappy now, but you will be happy later even if for a few moments. Between those times, you will simply live and experience because that's what life is. We notice the hard times because they hurt and we notice the good times because they feel good, but both those are temporary.

The past has passed and the future has yet to pass, but right now is a gift. It's why they call it the present; right now isn't so bad, is it? Even if there's some bad stuff going on around you, I want you to just focus on this moment right here. Unclench your jaw, stop tensing your shoulders, and let go of that breath you've been holding. Now assess this moment, free of memory or anticipation. Not so bad is it?

You got this. Even if it's hard, I promise you've got this. I believe in you even if you don't and I don't care if I don't know who you even are. That doesn't matter. You are my brother in humanity and that's enough; to be human is a powerful thing. We are tenacious and hard headed and passionate. We do the thing and you'll do the thing too, no matter how small it may be or how big it feels right now. Sometimes we need help to do the thing and that's why people like me exist.

Have a wonderful moment. You got this.