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Seeking validation and hyperaware of the presence of attractive women? Looking for advice on how to break the pattern.
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This is something I've noticed about myself for a while and kind of embarrassed typing some of this out, but I find that being in the presence of attractive women takes up too much real estate in my head. It's almost like I am overly concerned with their opinion of me or obsessed with their validation.

Take a recent example at the airport. An attractive women sat down a couple seats away from me at the gate, and instead of relaxing to pass time, I found myself sitting up with good posture, making sure my nice watch is showing, and even pulling out my book to read instead of doom-scrolling on my phone as almost an attempt to appear more "cool". In that whole moment I am obsessed with her attention to the point that both my conscious and subconscious actions change and I am completely aware of her presence.

I understand the evolutionary aspect of trying to impress a mate, but using my last example, it's not like any of that was done with the intention to hit on her eventually.

I just wish I could notice an attractive women, mentally acknowledge it and move on.

I don't know what this says about me, but I don't like this and would love to find ways to address and change it.

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9 months ago