I have NOA. I’m in my early 40s, and so is my girlfriend. IUI with donor sperm didn’t work. We started the IVF process. After her first cycle the eggs they retrieved were “immature.” Then one of her levels was above 12 — she was too distraught to ask the questions we should know answers to — and that, combined with her age, means insurance will not cover further rounds.

She said to me “you should feel a little better now,” because it was not solely me coming up short — not that I feel that way about her at all — but I feel horribly for her. Seeing her face after speaking to the IVF clinic the last time was a gut punch.

We’re looking at adoption, but we’re taking a break with things for the moment to collect our thoughts. I know this is a male infertility forum, but I’d love to hear from people who have dealt with things from both ends of the spectrum.