Hey everyone, I know it's not any success story or so, but I think i will not find any other sub who will understand me more than the people in this one.

I'm just tired, tired from doing over and over SA (9 over the last year) and getting one time some happy news and on the next SA to find out it is worse. Tired from this emotional rollercoaster. When I feel after each bad SA that my dream to be a dad is just moving away.

And I know there is ICSI and science rocks but I can't think about what if I had normal SA. And everything would be just easier.

I'm sorry for those negative feelings but I've just got my ninth SA results and they are bad and I'm basically crushed after last month they were better and I thought the improvement is finally happening.