We've been together almost 3 years now, only officially 2 though. The entire first year of us spending all our time together he would always tell me he didn't want to be together, he needed to work on himself. I found messages on his phone of him going to see a girl and he had lied to me about where he was going when he did it. This is when we still weren't together, so I wasn't mad at that but didn't want to continue to have him live with me so he left. (Yes I know we moved in too quickly but also I've just been letting him stay with me, he's not on the lease but is paying). About a week later he comes back around and says he decided he wants to be with me and changed his relationship status. I feel like even then I was unsure if I should move forward..

Now here I am 2 years later questioning everything. I've had really bad relationships in the past, so this one has been objectively better. But I don't feel happy, I don't feel at home, and I don't feel like this is how a relationship should feel. It's definitely more like we are roommates. He doesn't try to make me feel wanted and only recently has been consistent about helping with the house after I told him how unhappy I was. I don't get flowers or sweet messages or dates even though I've expressed that this is how I want to be loved. I'm having to deal with health stuff that I just found out about, and he wasn't the first person I wanted to tell. (I actually didn't want to tell anyone but that's a separate issue). I feel like our personalities don't match, I'm a very quiet person that likes to sit with the quiet and he has to be talking every moment which gets on my nerves but I also feel guilty like I should be wanting to know what he has to say. We also have arguments about his drinking because I feel like he would rather be doing that then doing things for the relationship to make this feel like more of an equal partnership. This isn't all of the things that have me questioning but a few of the main ones.

The problem with breaking up is of course that we live together. Like I said, he's not on the lease but I just really struggle with putting someone out like that. Maybe I shouldn't feel as bad though because I've covered so many things and he owes me so much money. Maybe him being in a situation to scramble isn't so bad since I've been scrambling for months trying to pay for 2 people's lives. The other issue is the community of friends he's involved in (and I've gotten involved in as a result) will most certainly be unavailable to me if we breakup, and that really sucks. I feel as if I'll be more alone than ever.

As I'm writing this, I feel like I know what the best choice is but I guess I just need some more confidence.