39 male inexperienced looking to bottom first time. CNC. Don't understand the assignment?

Why is it so hard to find someone who's clean, hygienic, and not a complete std infested whore who will take anything they get? I've tried apps, hoping it falls from the sky, or rather a pair of pants, and now I'm here

I want to try to bottom, completely. Like it or not. Catch? I'm not physically attracted to men, at all. But I regularly think bout a good looking cock, but haven't yet to try. And when i finally get the balls, nothing but shit shows have replied. Age, Size, color; doesn't matter at all. I do prefer something hand held, being intrusive thoughts always win; would you be gentle with 12 inches right now? Then again I did say like it or not, right?

But for real. I just want to have my experience. Not someone looking to cum and run. I mean I want you to do that anyway, just after a little while. What fun is it if your done in 3 minutes of fucking my throat. What resentment for asking for it while I actually have? What shame would I have in myself for the situation

Requirements:

Be clean. If you're a slut just be real about it. I'm promiscuous myself, just selective of who i sleep with, nobody really wants to be suited up. I Want to be MADE me a statistic, just not on the std list.

Hygiene is a must. If you've never seen a buzzer atleast, it's not going to work out. The only thing that's a bigger tun off then a guy, is public hair and we all know it

Understand the assignment, respect the disrespect. If you can't bust back to back nuts, or cum quick and run; don't get our hopes up. Nobody has all day and night, but 4 bumps and cum? I dont think its alot to ask, for my wrist to hurt, my throat to choke and my ass to quiver