You all may have seen my posts and comments throughout my treatment in this sub, and for a majority if not all of them I hope I have shown you support, strength, and determination to keep fighting the good fight 💪At the end of the day, no one is going to fight it for you!

I have in the past laid out my journey and battle with Hodgkins Lymphoma... throughout my treatment it was for sure a battle... for alot of people it's for their health and livelihood, as it was and is still for me...

What I didn't realize is the toll it would take on my mental health... being so head strong I forgot how to live and love even though I have everything to live and love for 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦❤

Since the successful completion of my treatment just about a month ago, I have gone to sad and darks places in my head, but most importantly and unfortunately have also dragged the closet people down with me... not physically, but emotionally.

As with overcoming something as significant as cancer, I should feel a sense of pride and accomplishment, happiness that I get to be present for today, and tomorrow. Seeing my children off to their first day of school, supporting my wife while she single handily runs our business... prior to this message, I have failed. Failed being a supportive and available husband and father, son, brother, and friend.

I killed my cancer from within, but literally let myself spread it from without to the ones I truly care about the most... and I have come to a realization that is because I lost my sense of 'ME'.

ME being the happy, ambitious, driven, strong, hardworking man I have become over the last 37 years of my life.

Today is the day I make drastic changes! I am committed to get my old self back just as, if not more then I was committed to conquering cancer!

I have a t-shirt that I bought maybe a decade ago that says "Everything I do is BIG"... so with that being said...

In honor of myself, my family, and you all that have helped me so much... today I start training for my first Ironman!

https://youtu.be/107ldORVThs

To all of you just diagnosed or currently battling cancer... don't ever give up hope, and most importantly never forget the 'why' when you are battling to conquer your cancer!

P.S. I am pondering of whether to document my journey and progress via YouTube 🤔