Hello all. I’m trying to understand how to feel “better” about lupus.

Not only has my body deteriorated before my eyes I also have been struggling with a sense of grief that plagues me.

It’s been so so scary, it happened slowly then all at once. I went from being a social butterfly, always out and about, always making connections, to being stuck at home all the time and isolated. I have l good support from my found family but I don’t know how to not be around others all the time. I had to quit my job, and I loved my job.

I think the worst part of this is how out of touch I am with myself. The brain issues that come with this are so harsh for me, I’m forgetting so many of the important moments in my life, the daily pain has warped me and I feel like less of a good person than I was before it. I wish it didn’t touch my brain. It scares me.

Overall I just want to learn…acceptance at least. I’m so angry at how it stole the life I had. I’m so angry at how it scares my loved ones. I’m so angry that it makes me angry.

Thank you for your time