Lately when I bring up my concerns about the pandemic, I get a lot of responses from people who accuse me of using lupus as a way to be the center of attention and to be controlling. In reality, I am worried about the chance of me getting Covid and possibly dying because I don't have an immune system and I am at risk of getting it. Its frusting to me and makes me feel invalidated and like these people don't consider my life as important because they think im trying to seek attention, but if a person with cancer said the same things, people would flock to their side in an abundance of agreement and understanding. My illness isn't just like a rash or something I can kinda ignore, it affects every single aspect of my life, but because I'm not terminal or hooked up to machines, people think I'm just playing a "lupus card" for attention and its starting to kinda bring me down. I do luckily have an amazing support system that is understanding and super amazing, but it still stings when other people think im playing a game to get attention and control and manipulate situations like its just so fun to say "no, i can't go for a walk today in 90 degree heat with 75% humidity that will make me flare, can we do something inside, or i can take a rain check and do something with you next time." or "im not comfortable going to a heavily populated place right now." If someone with cancer said that, there would be understanding and not accusations.