Hi!!! I’m not alone! Y’all have no idea how completely alone & foolish I thought I was (actually you all probably do know that feeling)…my fiancé(49 M) has the most nonstop, intense, unbelievable porn/women addiction I (42 F) have ever heard of. He gets porn in all his feeds & checks it constantly like it’s the gawtdamn news! He saves probably 100 photos of women a day & never really looks at them again. He NEVER STOPS with the porn. Just this week he has stayed at his (private) office overnight 4 times, caught up in a cycle of porn, work, cam sites (my biggest peeve), adult-themed computer games…get this…with dirty movies playing in the background!! I have fibroids, I just learned, & now I literally can’t get him to come home. I can’t meet any of his needs & I am feeling old, fat, ugly, bloody, unwanted & I am completely useless. I love sex & love porn to an extent. But that has faded over the past 2 years because of his problems & it’s all beginning to disgust me. My own body, useless body, is disgusting to me now. He will never stop, as it is not negotiable, but I don’t want to do that to him anyway. We compromised about the cam sites. No tipping, no chatting, & for goodness sake I don’t want to see them…every perfect type for him, providing for my nearly-husband’s needs while I sit at home, physically aching from wanting him to have me. We would have the BEST sex life if he wasn’t all used up from masturbating, but even before the fibroids, it wasn’t all that often & is 90% a finger fest, before I lie in missionary (it goes limp immediately any other position) & try to get as much pleasure as I can for the whole minute he lasts before the money shot, or he goes limp again. He stays rock hard for every woman in the world, except me, so I know sex with me is the problem (ok, so maybe it’s because he’s got porn on constantly, playing with his sweet winkwink 1-3 times a day.) I, too, am regretting being with him (for a few reasons). I daydream about hauling ass to some other fella’s place once I’m healed, for some REAL, YUMMY, BOTH-TEAMS-PRESENT, AWESOME SEX. I hate that, but I am starting to plan my escape from this mess. I want to be loved like I love people & never thought I’d have that…but I would like to try. I deserve it, as we all do. (loves to all!!) I’m not even sad about leaving anymore. I will not carry this relationship while he perverts TF through the rest of our lives. I hate how his addiction has caused me such pain. Never thought porn would do that. What’s more, though…I’m not worth him considering backing off to help us. Porn always wins & after all, it’s nonnegotiable. I just typed out a novella! If you got here, thank you for reading! I will read all of your stories as well. I just can’t express how grateful I am!