Had a really bad day yesterday. After I got home from work I found a used condom hidden in our garbage. I flipped the fuck out, not because I thought he cheated but because I thought he was back on porn. For some reason I have this sixth sense whenever he slips up and I know almost immediately. He told me he was going to tell me when I got off work. He insisted he didn't use porn and told me that he wanted to try it with his imagination and it was the first time ever finishing on his own without porn. We discussed masturbation before and I told him I was okay with it as long as he knew 100% it wouldn't trigger more porn use. So he stayed away from masturbation as it was a trigger and we just focused on sex to help his PIED. The only thing I said is that I need to be in the loop the whole time. I need to know before it happens. He still hid it from me. He insisted he didn't hide it and if he wanted to he wouldn't have left it in the house but I just feel so betrayed. I told him I didn't want to find out from that I wanted to know from him. I feel like our trust is back down to zero. The one thing I needed, complete transparency. And the fact that he would leave a used condom in the garbage for his pregnant fiance to find breaks my fucking heart. How could you do that to someone you love. I feel lost on where to go next, this brought up all the other times he betrayed me with porn. All the times he promised I would always have the truth but he never tells it. I feel broken that I've kept this baby with someone that has no commitment to honesty and the integrity of our relationship. Am I overreacting? How do you move on after being betrayed so many times? How do i stop letting this bother me.