Our relationship has been a very long struggle with his porn use and lying. He had PIED but that has been getting better slowly since d day a little over a year ago. Since then he has relapsed once that I know of about 6 months into his recovery and it killed me. For a while I would go on his computer and I have unrestricted access to his phone whenever I feel the need to check. The relapse happened a few days before I was planning to propose to him and it almost ruined us because instead of coming to me about it like I begged him to of it ever happens, he deleted his history and sat there acting like everything was fine the whole night. Hes been clean I'm pretty sure since. We had a hiccup maybe a week ago when he showed me reddit and I saw that his NSFW filter was turned off after I had turned it on and I flipped out a bit since I'm pregnant with his kid. For the past few months though it has been going smooth, I haven't looked at his things and sex has been alright when it rarely happens but now I'm pregnant. I'm stuck with him now. I have thoughts creeping in all the time on when the next relapse will be, when the next lie will be. Im paranoid if he's doing it again and our whole relationship is a lie. The stakes are higher now,he's stuck in my life for the next 2 decades at least. The pregnancy was an accident but I feel a bit like I've made a horrible mistake keeping it because the years of lying and gaslighting and betrayal.

Is there anyone else in this position? I feel like such shit right now.