Again, well fuck it.

Before I begin my TEd-Talk I would like to thank you for being here. Grab a drink, tea, coffee, vodka, or whatever it is, snacks maybe, you'll be sitting and reading for a long time, get comfy.

Do you feel you're being punished for being a hopeless romantic? Or want that insane-encompassing love? Well, I sure do.

When we're young we watched Disney films, the prince finds the princess, he will probably save her or enter from stage left the fairy godmother to fix everything, they kiss, they fall in love, and then they'll live happily ever after. Happily ever after, meaning they will be happy forever, zero drama, zero problems. Then after that, we move to romantic comedies, guy meets girl, same routine as the previous example but this time, they have this "thing", but for sure they'll be back together, and then they'll live happily ever after. The biggest difference is that the prince is some architect, because of course he's an architect, and the princess has a quirky job. In the end, they were always happy. I'm overgeneralizing here, I know movies that break those tropes exist but stay with me here. To add, what's with making women wanting bad boys while men can only like good women? I'll stop before I veer off-topic.

In some way, we've been programmed and educated to believe that love will conquer all, that love is enough, and that love will heal the fucking world, when the reality is, for love to be capable of being such an entity, love requires more than merely existing. It takes an immense amount of energy, effort, and willpower to make a relationship work. You put everything on the line so you can love, because we were sculpted to want love, to need love, to expect love, and to be loved. From our youth, we were given these unrealistic expectations about love. Nobody told us how love can be utilized to hurt, manipulate, and harm us. And if they did, the devastations of love, of how capable it is damaging us is not fully internalized until we experience it for ourselves. All we know that love is a positive feeling, that we are all destined to love and be loved. That even after our hearts break, we still want it and need it like oxygen. It's the dichotomy between the idea of love and the reality of love. In a way, the very essence and idea of love have been pedestalized so highly in our consciousness, it is now the force that drives our species forward. So what is love?

In my opinion, the current definition of love has been bastardized to such an unreasonable and low degree it is unrecognizable to what we want love to be. From predetermined rules, its commercialization, to its fantasization, love has become a product, it's commodified, and not only on a monetary or physical basis but in a conceptual way. Because truth is, the idea or the theory of love is singularly metaphysical. Love in its basal form is intangible, a puff of smoke, an abstract notion. An argument can be made that, is love, the romantic postulations of it, a belief birthed by intelligence. Caveman knew procreation and our species' current state knows sex, lust, and attraction, which can be explained by hormones and biology. Love, the term "love", is easily confused and substituted from wonderment and curiosity, two things needed and utilized by our species to move our society forward. And same can be said about caring and nurturing. While in contrast, love is an overarching overlapping idea of these real concepts, and in the end, that is exactly what it is, an idea. A positive idea that our intelligence demands to make sense of this unknown existence. But if we truly want to be highly intelligent beings, it makes more sense not to want love, due to its unknown variables, but why love. Because we were thrown into this universe unknowing what our purpose is, and our minds cannot reconcile why, because we need a reason, we must have a reason. And love fulfills that void, it removes the uncertainty that destabilizes us. It is the euphoric and intoxicating explanation we need to enable us to survive, it legitimizes our existence.

Now, to return my questions, tortured due to being a hopeless romantic and wanting an insane encompassing love. The concept of love being hopeless is in complete opposition to why love was created, as I referred my last paragraph. Because love shouldn't be hopeless, love is supposed to be the one that gives hope. But love has become selfish, we started to fear love. But love was never a perfect concept, to begin with, it never was. It was idealism that made love into that because we needed that one thing that cannot be touched by our humanity. But if we accept our humanity, then we should accept that love, the idea we created will not be perfect. Hopeless romantic, should not be about flowers, dates, or the tingling sensations we get. Maybe we're hopeless romantics because we hope for love even if we logically know it's unrealness, it's invariability. We know love is only an inequitable concept but still accept it, and we still want to be encompassed by it.

How about encompassing love? Is "being encompassed" mean that we are the center of each other's existence, yes and no. No, because one cannot love if they cannot give love, and loving oneself is also loving the other person. Yes, because the creation of a new love is kin to how the universe was created. There was nothing, then suddenly there was everything. In just a snap, everything exploded into creating a new reality, and the vastness and emptiness of whatever was there before were filled. And this new entity we will create will allow us to be singular individuals yet singular in existence. An overwhelming love that can be anything, a love the transcends every definition.

Love as peace of mind? Yes.

Love as sex? Yes.

Love as lust? Yes.

Love as fucking? Yes.

Love as trust? Yes.

Love is just love.

I want it, I want it all. To be connected in the physical, mental, and psychological plain. To allow the thread love to create a new entity that is our love. The intimacy that allows our bodies and minds to rest, because we found each other, and the uncertainty of our existence is answered. And I refuse to be ashamed of it anymore and be hindered by a form of love dictated by the norms. A love that transcends the basic form of reality and dreams. Love in the most basal, rawest, imperfect, and truest form.

Love is the greatest strength that we created yet also our downfall. In the end, it didn't matter the explanation, the complete illogicality of love is what makes us human, it makes us real. Because even if our existence in comparison to the universe is immensely and exponentially insignificant, it doesn't matter. It doesn't fucking matter, for the borrowed time we have we existed, we happened, we mattered, and we loved.

Before I end this, again thank you for reading. I'm going through a difficult time and so many emotions, I think I'm going insane. Writing this down gave me a sense of freedom. I hope whoever you are, you find love, be loved, and give love.

That has been my TEd-Talk, have an amazing day.