Months ago I was the happiest I thought I'd ever be in life. I was in an LDR for 2 years with a man I loved more than anything. I am still not sure exactly what happened, but he came home from a trip with his friends and things were different. He swore nothing was going on but that he needed to be there for his friend because of a seperation, which I completely understand. He became distant and I got scared. He never had time anymore and rather than accept any other possibility, I ended things. I needed to protect myself. It felt like the biggest mistake I'd ever make but it was too late. About a month later, I saw that he had posted NSFW pics asking other women who wanted to do naughty things to him. They were dated before we'd broken up. I was angry but I couldn't do anything and just decided to view it as "he did what he felt he needed to do."

So I was alone, having already changed my life for the future we said we'd wanted together. I was lonely but decided not to build my walls back up. That was not a life I wanted to live anymore. So I did just the opposite, I lived, I let others in. Then I met someone. He was funny and easy to talk to. I looked forward to our chats. He has a busy life, as do I. He and I share a lot of similarities in our personal and professional lives and it has felt more like an old friendship coming back to light. Over time it became more. It developed in ways I never saw coming. One day he sent me a video on a whim, a song I heard the day before that I shared with him, he'd learned it and sung it to me. Teary eyes and a smile, but more importantly, I felt my heart beat a bit faster. It had felt empty for so long, like it was missing. I could feel again and it was...beautiful.We talk when we can, in between life and jobs. We share music and work and everything. He makes me smile and laugh and my heart sings again.

Two days ago I felt his lips on mine for the first time. Two days ago he held my hand for the first time. Last night, was the first time I told him I loved him. And last night, he said it back but that it wasn't the first time he felt it. ❤️