(F32) It's common advice to work on yourself, find interests and the more developed you are as a person, the more attractive you will be to others. I have been kind of worrying ever since I moved back to the UK that this actually has the opposite effect. I've always been independant and curious, I follow the things that interest me in life and I'm very passionate about them. I have a lot of niche hobbies and skills, I've travelled around and lived abroad for several years. I have an interesting career that engages my mind, I have a decent social life and Im also happy in my own company.

I don't regret the paths I've taken at all but they have had a side effect of being a bit isolating. I'm very friendly and find it easy to talk to strangers but I struggle to connect deeply with most people. I think it's because they just don't have similar experiences or life goals as me. Everyone I meet just seems to want to settle down and have kids, watch TV, live an easy life. Im not judging, I think those people are going to be much happier, but it's my personal hell. I never want children and I find slow, lazy weekends where you don't do anything to be boring and unfulfilling.

I've had some awful and wonderful relationships, casual and serious but I feel doubtful that I will ever find someone I can truly share my life with. Half the time when I talk about my hobbies or things I've done people just kind of change the subject because they have nothing to say about it. It feels very lonely.

I recently got out of a 2.5 year serious relationship with a wonderful person because we just didn't have enough in common to make it work. I tried a more casual thing after that but that also ended badly and made me feel very disposable. I feel like something people entertain themselves with for a bit until they find someone serious to settle down with and I get discarded. Or I get boxed into a lifestyle that makes me unhappy. Am I doomed to watch all my friends get sucked into marriage and kids and slowly drop away?

Has anyone else ever felt that way?

TLDR: An interesting life, niche hobbies and busy career make me feel like I don't have anything in common with anyone I meet.