I'm 26f 5ft 200? Lbs ( it's been awhile since I last checked) I've always been a overweight person even as a child I'm broke don't have a car I live in the mountains of ny state I've always had a extremely poor diet every time I've tried to eat new food like I try to eat a cherry once I threw up I don't know why but eating like fruits vegetables makes me ill I don't know why I don't have the money to fix it I don't have the mindset I need to lose weight I'm scared to lose my limbs or my senses I really do not want to get diabetes though I probably have a low chance of having that cuz I have no family history of it though I do have psoriasis and I was told I have like a 25% higher chance than I did before I had it every time I think about exercising I just don't want to do it I don't know what to do I'm just mad depressed people tell me to go for a walks but I feel guilty because I have to leave my dogs behind and they cry and I don't want to walk them cuz they're difficult plus they don't need to be walked they can run free in my yard I have kettle balls and a yoga mat that I never used plus those machines that vibrate your muscles I don't know what to do I don't know if I can lose weight with my diet people say you can you just got to like choose one to eat and stuff but I don't know I don't know what to do I feel like I have no control over my life and I'm just waiting to die slow painful death by rotting away

I'm trying though I'm starting to drink more water cutting down soda I don't know though I feel like when I'm not doing anything I eat to get rid of the boredom I don't know what to do anymore can you guys help me I know a lot of people are saying what you need is discipline or determination I don't fucking know

I don't know if I could ever eat fruits or vegetables maybe you don't drink style I want to drink a dragon fruit drink that I made through Frozen dragon fruit it was pretty good but it was too much work and was messy I had a strain it

I would really appreciate your help please do not judge me I'm asking for help asking for advice not judgment not hate if you're going to be a dick do it somewhere else I don't want to deal with your bullshit