i don't weigh myself at home (TLDR i'm at high risk to develop an ED and not being able to obsess over my actual weight has been a foolproof way to prevent it) and go off of... ehh. general feel. how my clothes fit, how my face looks, how my stomach looks, etc. not the best metric, but its what works for me.

however.. obviously this isn't a great way to do it, bc i was SURE i had been gaining weight. last time i was weighed (about a year ago), i was around 165 (i'm 5'3", AFAB but on HRT so who knows), which was honestly okay with me! my highest ever was around 185, so as far as i was concerned, 165 was great.

then some time passed, i went through some pretty traumatic stuff, plus the holidays, and i swore i had gained weight. at least back up to 165. everyone told me no way, you look thinner, but i didn't see it.

turns out i'm at 134!!! i do not even remember the last time i weighed this little! i was severely underweight prepuberty due to medications, but puberty completely turned me in the opposite direction and ive been relatively chubby ever since. my calorie counting is pretty lax, i don't do it every day, and food is still a comfort/special thing for me, so i really didn't think i was losing.

i still feel crazy about it! i've been an overweight BMI for close to a decade now and had mostly accepted i would stay there, and that was OK (it was better than being more overweight afterall and it seemed to be mostly sustainable for me). but apparently 135 is sustainable for me too! 🥳