I found out I lost 7 pounds today. I am so freaking happy that I want to cry. I know it's not much, but it's the most I have lost in a really long time. I'm kind of worried I'm going to get so excited that I'll force myself to drop more and then backtrack out of frustration or something else.

I have struggled with weight all my life. Even back when I wasn't even medically considered overweight but because I had a plush butt and thick thighs, I was called fat and every other name that people use to belittle bigger people. Eventually I went from 125 up to 197. I just didn't care. Oh I'm fat? Let me be fat then. I became what they said I was even though I cannot help having thick thighs and a big bottom. My bottom has been big since I was a child as bubble butt was a nickname for me for as long as I can remember growing up.

Now I am actually seriously finally on the path of losing weight and I'm excited and scared. I don't want to slide back. But I get the boosts and I'm like YAY I'M GONNA DO IT and then I mess up and back down I go. So how do stop myself this time? How do I keep pushing forward without being too aggressive with myself? I'm actually close to tears because I was 3 pounds for 200 and that 7 is still only 7 pounds from 200. I want to keep moving forward but I'm scared and anxious.

I don't know what I'm asking for here. Just a little brag post and a vent, I guess. Again, it isn't much, but it is to me since I've been stagnant at 197 for so long.