Hello fellow losers (it seems like this is the tongue in cheek word for users of this sub ☺️). I'm new here and thought I'd introduce myself by sharing some strategies I'm trying that I feel good about, and also what my struggles are.

I'm in my early thirties, female, and at last weigh in was almost 196, which is the heaviest I've been in my life. I was this heavy last January, then lost some weight last spring, and then slowly gained it back in part due to circumstances in my life (or I guess all we have is circumstances). Eventually I'd like to get down to what I use to feel good at for years, 135, but even if I could get into the 160-170 range that would be a vast improvement to start.

Some things that have helped:

Eating more fermented foods - I took a gut biome test last spring and it was found that I am low in certain microbes that can help with sleep, mood, and wight loss (I struggle with sleep as well!). It was recommended to me to eat more fermented foods like real pickles and sauerkraut (that are refrigerated at the store, not the shelf-stable vinegar-based stuff), kombucha, and yogurt. When I started doing that, along with some other changes, I did lose weight! And when I stopped for a while, I gained it back. It wasn't the only variable, but I like the idea that I'm setting my body up for success by eating fermented foods. I'm getting back into this now by trying to have yogurt and kraut in the fridge at all times. One person I met suggested a life hack: every time you go to the fridge out of boredom, eat a spoonful of real fermented kraut. It has almost no calories and tons of healthy probiotics.

Yogurt with berries for breakfast - This is a tip I got from a weightloss program I was in last year (the one that did the gut biome test). I mostly found that program awful, but this was one of the few tips (along with fermented foods) that I found helpful. They suggested consistently having one of the following options for breakfast: yogurt with fruit or eggs and greens. When I'm on my "plan" this is what I do. It takes the brain power out of figuring out what to eat for breakfast. And I read in a different book that berries are a food you can't eat too much of, because of all their positive qualities.

Some things I'm trying:

I'm currently holed up working on grad school. I stopped at the store and bought what I hoped would be enough food to last a week. I tried to balance simplicity with healthy choices. I got:

• Four salad kits -Celery -Bell peppers -Hummus -Yogurt -Blueberries -Organic Half and half for my tea -Some healthier-end-of-the-spectrum frozen burritos and quesadillas that mostly had a good protein to carb ratio (3 out of 5 had a ratio I was OK with, the other two weren't so great but the carbs were mostly from vegetables not sugar) -Avocados -Pumpkin seeds -Jerky -Sauerkraut -Apples -Seitan (a vegetarian meat substitute with decent protein) -Seaweed -Almonds

I've been trying to stick to a rough plan of blueberries and yogurt for breakfast, salad for lunch and/or dinner with avocado and maybe some extra cheese or seaweed and almonds I have on hand. I also have a burrito or quesadilla for either lunch or dinner but not both. I have celery and hummus or pumpkin seeds or jerky as a snack.

I've also been going for walks the past few days, and I have a fitbit, and it's definitely easier to raise my calories expended thus allowing me to eat a little more when I do so.

Challenges:

A few challenges are that there are a few people in my life who are overweight and aren't as aware of what's causing their continued weight gain, and/or just aren't consistently making the choices I'd ideally like to make. One of these people is my romantic partner. We aren't living together currently, but we are around each other a lot, and it means that there are more risky moments where it takes my willpower to resist eating something they've brought into my house/life that I know won't help my goals. As we know, willpower is unreliable, and the most supportive way to succeed in battling an addiction is to remove temptation from your environment. So this is a real challenge. I'd like to lose the weight and get in shape and maybe inspire my partner to do the same (they say they want to, just aren't prioritizing it). But it's hard to not be on the same page with someone my life is so intertwined with.

Another challenge is that I've really been in the habit of eating out a lot - I'm trying to move away from it, but I have moments of "weakness." Last week I ate healthy food at home for a few days, but then had to drive somewhere, saw a Thai restaurant, and immediately lost conviction. It would maybe be OK if I'd just ordered a small item, but I ordered more than I needed for one meal for sure. However, I know this couldn't be the only reason I weighed in so heavy at the end of the week.

Which leads me to my second to last frustration. It seems like even when I make these healthy choices, I still struggle SO HARD to lose weight and maintain that loss. I actually took a genetic test (same program that did the biome test) last year that said I have some genetic predispositions that will likely make it harder for me to lose weight and keep it off. This feels so discouraging, like it's always going to be this huge struggle, and like there's no leeway to have things I enjoy once in a while without undermining myself. I imagine this isn't necessarily true, but I haven't figured out a balance yet, and it's hard while managing everything else in my life. Food is definitely an addiction for me - I don't drink or do drugs, so this is my only remaining dopamine comfort besides the internet.

Lastly, I have trouble sleeping so lately I've been taking a sleep aid at night. Sometimes an herbal one and sometimes one with some cbd and/or thc. I'm not sure if it gives me the munchies but whether or not I take the THC one, I tend to want to snack a lot in the evening or right before bed. My snacks are comparatively healthy, like jerky and celery and hummus, not chips and ice cream (although I've done that at times for sure). But it still seems to undermine my calorie balance. This seems like a willpower thing and I truly don't trust any strategy that relies on willpower to be effective long term.

Closing thoughts

Since this is my first post and I'm a delicate flower, I ask that people do not comment criticism or advice (even criticism you think is constructive). For me it would be welcoming if anyone wants to share:

-Supportive comments about what I've done/am trying that seems healthy to you -anything I've shared that you find inspiring and might try yourself -any struggles I've shared that you can relate to and how you relate to it -general empathy for struggles even if you don't personally relate to them

Thank you for reading. I look forward to getting to know this community.