Ugh. I had been doing CICO intermittent fasting for about 3-4 mos and had gotten halfway to my goal weight (started at 185, goal is 145) when I finally got a weigh in at a doctors appointment a few weeks ago. I don't keep a scale around as seeing my weight generally makes me feel like shit.

Yesterday was celebrating a friend's birthday and they had this like bungee trampoline thing at the mall with a weight limit (180) so I had to be weighed. It put me at 176 (this was post-dinner by only about 40 minutes and with my boots on so I'm probably more at 172-174ish).

Got home that night and looked in the mirror.. My stomach had been shrinking and it's not back to where it was before but I'm not as thin.

I feel devastated. I know it's because the last 2 weeks or so I fell off.. med changes, job change, short on time and money so overall eating habits have been terrible.

I keep telling myself it's fine, if I stick to fasting for a while again the weight will fall back off. But I had FINALLY hit a weight that I was at least happy and comfortable at. Now I'm back to feeling awful and fat - mostly because I saw the number. I had a feeling I was putting on a few pounds back on but seeing my weight just hurts my heart.

I cried a bunch last night and tried to remind myself that 2 months feels like a lot NOW, but that the first time I lost this weight it went by like that. I'm also going to TRY to get myself excercising (my apartment has a gym with bikes, it's too hot here to go outside) and lose even more. I know losing weight quickly does, well, this - you go back to old habits and gain it back. But for me, it's easier to get it all done and then have this awesome thing I want to keep, I guess.

I dunno! Just venting. I know this stuff is typical but I had felt really proud of myself and this is making me feel like garbage.