Edit: This should really be to those starting out (again), but I think everyone can benefit from the following advice (she said humbly). This is for people who need to get back in tune with their bodies. Thanks for the silver! If this post helps just one person I’ll be glad.

First of all, congratulations!!! I am so proud of you for wanting better for yourself, your health, and your life. This is going to be the best decision you ever made.

I just wanted to pop in and give some advice to those starting. I've been dieting what basically boils down to my whole life and I'm worried about people coming in here, going gung-ho, and then ultimately fizzling out, hating themselves, and then being worse off than they were now, but another year later. Another New Year's.

It happens all the time, every year, to a LOT of people. But there are ways you can prevent fizzling out.

So here's some advice for you guys that has worked for me. I'm going to skip the stuff like "log everything" and "CICO” and “move more" because you'll find that all over this sub. I want to give you stuff that I KNOW works, but people don't talk about as often because it's not going to help you lose 100 lbs in a week. But it will help you to lose weight and keep that weight OFF, which people always forget.

Because 99% of diets become MEANINGLESS if you approach them the wrong way. Here's what you can do to make the next months or years in your life MEANINGFUL.

Eat when you're hungry.Hi, I know you're not an idiot. But we have found a million ways to stave off hunger. "Drink 20 gallons of water a day!" (Don't do this, it's an exaggeration: you'll die). "Eat 40 meals throughout the day instead of 3 meals a day!" (OK that's fine if it works for you but it's different for everyone) "Cut out all carbs and eat only eggs for the next 12 weeks!" (Ok...um...)

Look. It is okay to be hungry. IT IS OKAY. It is our body telling us we need sustenance. When we were babies we were perfectly normal weights because we cried when we were hungry, got our food/milk, and then we stopped when we had enough. Not when we were full. When we were SATIATED. This is so key. Your body is REALLY SMART and we've spent our whole lives telling us that it doesn't know what it needs and we have to ignore hunger. No dude! We gotta listen to our bodies!

So if you're hungry, you're going to eat. You know what the great part about this is? Food tastes BETTER when you're hungry. Like, a lot better. You'll notice it right away. You've probably noticed it before. Notice it again. It really helps hold off eating until you need to rather than just because you want to.

When you're hungry, try to prepare something healthy "more often than not"

My therapist told me, "More often than not." We can eat healthy more often than not. We can go for a walk more often than not. That "more often than not" is enough. People have a tendency to go gung-ho here:

NO MORE CARBS

NO MORE SUGARS

NO MORE SODA

NO MORE FOOD

ONLY GYM ALL THE TIME

And really what you need is just well-balanced meals, calorie-logging and a touch of math, and maybe a walk now and again for mental health more than anything. And you'll be golden!Don't cut out EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME. Let yourself have a can of soda on the weekend, or a piece of birthday cake that was brought into the office. Then adjust for it. Recognize your hunger in a curious and polite way. Then give yourself enough food to satiate yourself, trying to be healthy but not utilitarian about it. Wait until you're hungry again and repeat the process.

Notice what's happening while you're eating (mindful eating) Take a bite of what you made. Savor it. Consider it. If it's not what you wanted to eat, dump it. YEP. Dump it. Because mental satiation is SO SO SO important. Possibly the MOST important for people who are overweight, because we obviously didn't get to where we are by not liking food.

Assuming it is what you want to eat, keep eating it. Take your time but you don't to be anal about it (no reason to chew a pea 25 times). Pause to drink some water. Eat and pause and gauge your hunger on a scale of 1-10. Where were you before you started eating? A ravenous 10? A humble 8? Where are you now? Closer to a 7, maybe 7.5?

How does the food taste? Is it as good as that first bite? Is it worse? Why would you keep eating if the food doesn't taste as good as that first bite?

Stop eating when you're satiated

When you feel satiated (maybe around a 3.5 or 4), that's a good time to stop. Get up, put the leftovers away, and go on to do something else. Dishes. Then maybe clean a bit. Play a video game. Paint your nails. Start your evening routine, a shower and lotions and all that.This sounds really, really scary, I know. But it is absolutely doable. 20 minutes will pass and you'll feel a weird emptiness even though you just ate. That's your body processing food. Give it a little more time. Wait until you're hungry again in a few hours. It'll taste better than if you eat while already satiated.

Pretend to be a healthy person

We're not here to punish ourselves. We're here to get healthy. Acting like a healthy person has gotten me SO far mentally AND physically. Healthy people don't berate themselves if they go back to the fridge an hour later and have a few marshmallows or a piece of chocolate or a small ice cream cup. Healthy people don't berate themselves if they go over their daily caloric intake by 45 calories last Wednesday. That shit doesn't even register on the scale of "things to care about" for them. They naturally adjust to it.

If a healthy person overeats one night, do you know what they DON'T do? Keep eating until they're physically ill, and then tomorrow keep on eating because they "blew their diet." No dude, they stop eating, recognize they feel wayyyy too full, set the food aside, wake up the next day, still feel full, and DON'T EAT. They just don't eat until they're hungry! (I know it's crazy but play along would you?)

A healthy person would recognize they ate a lot of carbs that day so dinner should have good protein and veggies. A healthy person would recognize they haven't been outside for a week and go on a nice walk for some fresh air and Vitamin D.Healthy people don't get on a scale and check their weight twice a day. Healthy people don't even OWN a scale! Seriously, ask your "naturally skinny" friend with all their mind-blowing healthy habits how much they weigh. They probably only know a rough weight from the last them they weighed themselves at the doctor or something. Healthy people don't care about that stupid number!

Now, we're in this to lose weight, so tracking your weight is a good idea (I recommend once every two weeks to see real, sustainable progress, but if you're really new to the game you might want to do it once a week). Just don't KILL yourself over it. You've been working out and eating healthy and mindfully and you somehow GAINED two pounds last week?! Guess what champ, that's water weight. You feel good in your jeans and you were looking great in the mirror before you knew that number, and that's still true. The weight will change.

Everything is in a constant state of change

Your weight will change. Your mood will change. Your hunger will change. Your eating habits will change. Your desires will change. If you REALLY WANT A PIECE OF CHOCOLATE CAKE RIGHT NOW AGH I HAVE TO HAVE IT AGHHH just fuckin' have it, dude. Have it. Because you know what happens if you don't have it? You think about that cake later, you try to satiate yourself through some NOT fulfilling piece of crap chocolate that's 99% air, and then you eventually cave, and binge, and hate yourself, and the diet is blown, and ah why did I even try.

No. Eat the damn piece of cake, a healthy person would. Then move on from it! Eat again when you're hungry, which will be later than you think because you're processing more calories than usual. It'll be fine! Eat when you're hungry, stop when you're satiated. You will be surprised to see how little food you ACTUALLY need to get by. Your eyes will say yes. Your stomach will say no. You can feel it in your bones.

It took me a WHILE to adjust to the new portions. I realized I don't need more than 300 calories per meal (I'm 5'1" female) with a few snacks scattered in-between. It can be weird realizing I only need a piece or two of pizza and not the whole damn thing. It's also liberating.

You're not gonna crave chocolate cake forever. Seriously. If you let yourself have a slice every day for dinner, eating when hungry and having just enough to get satiated, you will not gain weight. There's been tons of experiments saying it but I did it myself anyway. I had a few days in a row all I wanted was cookie dough. I couldn't convince myself to eat a salad if my life depended on it. So I fuckin' made and ate cookie dough. Three nights in a row. And by the fourth night my body was practically BEGGING me for vegetables and protein. And so I made that. And balance was slowly restored.

It took time. It took practice. It took patience. And yeah, I slipped up some days, eating past fullness. But I just waited until I was hungry again, stayed calm, and made something healthy for my next meal.

Don't berate yourself

You wouldn't emotionally beat up a toddler when he's learning to walk and he falls down. You wouldn't berate him for not being able to do it his first try, or even his second try, or tenth try. You'd applaud and smile and tell them they're doing great and to try again. We must approach dieting with the same positive, reinforcing behavior, and shut down negativity that keeps us perpetuating the same bad habits that got us to where we are in the first place.

You are doing great. One piece of cake does not a ruined diet make. Be kind to yourself. I find that when I get hard on myself, imagining 4-year-old me and talking her through her emotions makes it a LOT easier to proceed. You are still a child. You are still learning and growing and failing and learning from that, too. It's a journey. You will get there. Take your time, don't panic, and treat yourself right.

Your body WANTS to be healthy. You will feel so much better just by eating to satiation and not to stomach-pain fullness from day ONE. You will feel good to feel hungry because that's your body telling you it's time to eat (and it's when food tastes the best!). Just take it one meal, one day at a time. You don't have to lose 100 lbs in a week. Be kind to yourself, don't restrict too terribly because you WILL end up bingeing and then hating yourself, and just eat proportionately and until satiated.

So don't go too hard, don't be too hard on yourself, and pretend to be healthy. You'll get there.

I got a lot of this advice from my favorite book regarding the binge and diet cycle, "How to Have Your Cake and Your Skinny Jeans Too." Not only is the title absolutely amazing, but it has been a lifesaver when it comes to creating habits and viewing the world through a healthy lens. It offers a lot of great advice on how to lose weight as well as provide scientific studies and examples of how dieting does NOT work ("dieting" meaning hardcore life changes that are unsustainable in the long term). And how mindful eating is the road you want to take, and mirroring healthy habits. I highly recommend it to anyone who has struggled with weightloss in the past and struggles with the binge>hate self>diet>binge cycle.

I haven't been perfect. It took me months and months to perfect naturally healthy eating. But it does happen, with time. You just have to give yourself a chance and trust your body. We can do this.Best of luck to you all, take care, and happy (healthy) eating!