I've been working out and calorie counting, roughly 1800 per day, so it's truly not overly restrictive. Losing weight slow and steady for 4 mos, aiming for 20lbs more. Initially I was dividing it by meal but have switched to tracking for the whole day. However, I've noticed an interesting pattern. If I eat a small breakfast, I end up eating less calories all day or meeting my goal with ease. I feel less deprived because I know I have "room" in my calories and can fit in a snack or indulgent meal later if I want. Then I usually end up just eating normally for lunch and supper /- a small snack, thinking "yay, I still have room for a big snack after supper" leaving maybe 300 cals remaining. But I don't really have junk food in the house so I won't end up eating all that most of the time! And then end up under on my calories (which I don't really want by much, I want to be consistent and nourish myself).

If I eat a big breakfast ~500-600 cals, the opposite happens. I feel like I have to be so strict on my meals the rest of the day. I worry I'll want to eat more than my alloted calories. I'll struggle and feel so snacky in the evening. I don't usually go over or maybe just by 50-100 cal but it is a STRUGGLE.

It doesn't seem to matter if my breakfast is high protein or nutritious. I think it's really a mental thing: a feeling of abundance and choice or feeling trapped.

So I idk. Is it unhealthy to eat a small breakfast if it gives me a sense of food freedom later in the day? I guess its not dissimilar to intermittent fasting, but I want to do something sustainable. Honestly until I had a kid a few years ago I rarely ate breakfast, or maybe just a smoothie, but now I wanted to model good habits (and was so hungry from breastfeeding the first while). I'm not blaming breakfast for my weight gain, because I didn't try to limit myself at all for years before this.

Just curious if anyone relates or has advice.

Small edit for grammar/clarity prior to anyone commenting.

edit - thank you all so much for the validation!! there are too many comments to respond to each but I really appreciate all of them. I think I was worried that it was eating disorder behavior or something and I really do want to be mindful of health and sustainability. thank you!