I hate being fat! I’m disgusted that I let myself get 249 again. In 2021 I was at 170!! The lowest I’d been in years. I worked my ass off to get there. Some maybe wasn’t the healthiest. But I felt good. I looked good. Clothes fit me better. And I had more stamina.

I hate how tight clothes fit me now and how I look. I’ve been fat all my life and it sucks so bad. In the last 3 months I’ve been committing to going to HIIT classes 5x a week. I’ve lost 15 lbs but it feels like nothings happened. I know it takes long to get there but currently I’m just miserable at where I’m at. I told myself I’d never get 200 again and then it happened.

Call it internalized fat phobia whatever I don’t feel like I’ll ever feel like a “hot” fat person. I just feel gross