I'm white, 5'6, slim, 145lbs, average attractiveness imho, garbage vision, brown hair (currently short), hazel eyes, no tattoos, no piercings, sparse body hair, kinda fit, introverted, INTJ-T, and "inexperienced". I tend to push people away, but would like to find a special woman to be sensitive, vulnerable, and myself with.

No long distance, no quick hookups. I'm looking for a gentle domme within a few hours' drive from Santa Barbara for a strictly monogamous relationship at your pace. I'm more than happy to cuddle or just get to know you if you need to take things slow. I'm not pushy, but my end goal is to find a lifelong partner, so I'd need commitment eventually. I can exchange SFW pics right away.

I don't mind heading your way every time we meet; driving is relaxing to me. You could lead me somewhere you enjoy, or we could go somewhere completely new for both of us. I'm always ready to try something for the first time. Ideally, our date would end with us snuggled up somewhere cozy. I keep my car clean and comfortable, so the back seat is always an option. It could go beyond that. It's 100% your call, and there's no rush.

About me / About you:

I'm into animals, alt rock (AM, CWK, FOB, GA, ID, Joywave, Muse, RHCP, The Strokes, TOP), programming, crimes, shooting, piano, politics, and cycling. I've done a lot of gaming, so we could do that any time we're apart. Since I'm the sub, I can be your pocket medic. I like the outdoors, though I don't care to go out when I don't have someone special to experience the world with. My biggest hobby might be making people uncomfortable. I like to be vaguely threatening and unhinged whenever I can, because it's funny. As an introvert, I like being unreasonably hostile to everyone to ensure that they don't bother me. This hobby will probably be overtaken by playing with my cat, once I get one.

I'm looking for someone in their 20s who's intelligent, affectionate, loyal, and non-dramatic. Care for health and hygiene is important. I have no intrinsic body preferences. Someone to work out with would be nice. Tomboys make me say awooga and make my eyes pop out of their sockets. Similar music taste would be perfect.

As for politics, if I was gonna vote (I never will), I'd vote Republican. I have an opinion about parenting which is likely a deal-breaker for anyone on the left. I disagree with a few standard conservative positions, and ultimately don't care about things I can't change, but I'd rather spend my life with someone I see eye to eye with. Also, I make a lot of absurd jokes and can't live with someone who's uptight.

I'm an atheist, and I'm not looking for anyone who believes strongly in an established religion. It's fine if you feel like there's something bigger than us, in a spiritual sense, but I'm not going to church on Sunday or flipping a coin to determine whether we indoctrinate the kids.

You should love animals. If a cool bird lands near us, we should both be interested in it. I will touch any animal. If it might have rabies, I will at least touch it's tail. I can show you a 14 minute video of me talking to a seagull I was holding. It had a broken wing, so it couldn't escape me. Even in the end, the ungrateful bastard still kept trying to bite me, and succeeded. I drove him to a wildlife sanctuary and gave him to the only other guy who apparently doesn't hate seagulls.

My wardrobe consists mostly of ironic graphic tees, but you can pick out new outfits for me. I'm not a femboy or a cross dresser, but I'll wear anything you put on me regardless. If you need someone to practice makeup on, I'm down. I'll go out in public like that, I don't care. They WILL let me keep the cat ears on when I renew my driver's license this time. I could also modify my body in whatever way suits you if we get serious enough. I'd love to complete tasks that would make me a more interesting person, more athletic, a better lover, or in any way more worthy of being yours.

Long term:

My dream is to own a small house on a lot of land with a bunch of animals, complete with the perfect woman who will never doubt that I love her and am so happy to belong to her. I'll be realistic, but I'd love to have cats, a husky, fish, chickens, ducks, goats, and an adorable jumping spider. I also want a shooting range visible from our bedroom balcony, where we can shoot silenced .22s that won't bother the animals. I'd also like to grow a bunch of stuff.

This is possibly my biggest requirement: unless we have goats, we will NOT have a lawn. Grass is fucking stupid. I'm not cutting that shit every week just to waste water to make it grow back. We'll have moss, and that's final.

I want kids. Morally, I want to adopt, but I don't want the government up my ass. We could just steal a newborn from someone who doesn't deserve it and say it came out of you. I'll be very serious about making sure our kids succeed. I'm not just gonna hand them a tablet so they leave us alone. They're gonna be geniuses among their brain-rotted peers.

Cuddling:

I'm ready to get close whenever you are. I'm so ready. We could do nothing but cuddle and make out for hours, and I'll beg you not to go when it gets late. I could stay the night platonically in your arms and ask you how you slept in the morning. I like to be pushed around when cuddling. Just grab me and put me where you want me to make yourself comfortable. You're in charge when we're that close, but I still want a partner who respects me. We would have equal say in all aspects of our relationship, with the understanding that it's super hot to give you control. Still, I'm a people pleaser, so we can mostly go wherever you want to go and do whatever you want to do. I'll trust your intuition, and focus on giving you a good time and lots of attention, and hopefully we manage to fit in plenty of physical touch.

Love languages:

All of the love languages make me feel fuzzy. I love personally giving gifts, but only thoughtful ones. Maybe this is the time to say that I think cut flowers and diamond jewelry are stupid. I'm looking for someone who's practical. I hate wasteful traditions, like buying expensive wedding rings. Anyway, I love providing acts of service. I love receiving words of affirmation and physical touch. I want to spend as much quality time with you as possible.

Consent:

My consent is implied, within reason, so after the awkwardness of the first few minutes, you can grab or touch me basically anywhere, whenever you want. I'll forfeit my own personal space to you. You can spontaneously draw on me, pet me, hold my hand, grab my arm and pull yourself into me, whatever. It makes me feel wanted.

With that being said, I will never cross the limits you set for me. I'll try to explain how I feel about your consent. I generally emphasize my stoicism and make it clear that I don't care about other people's opinion of me, but this is different. If you end up hating me because I betrayed your trust, I'll hate myself more. Not to sound like a bitch, but I will actually cry if I feel like I overstepped your boundaries. I want you to feel safe around me, and even though I always keep my emotions hidden, it makes me really fucking sad to imagine having someone who shows me vulnerability, just to make them regret it. This is all just to say that I'm very cautious about consent, and it honestly might get annoying for you. Someday, though, I would love for our bodies to fully belong to each other, with no sense of shame and with implied consent (still within reason, obviously).

I have high self control. I'd love for that to be balanced out by a woman with a crazy high libido, who can push me into the bedroom. Regardless, I believe in setting clear boundaries before we meet. If you tell me beforehand that you don't want our first date to go too far, I'll absolutely turn you down if you're getting *too* touchy. I don't want you to regret your time with me after I leave. Especially if we're drinking, there's always next time to decide that we want to go farther. Also, I don't have any STDs, and don't plan on having any to share with whoever ends up being my soulmate, so I'll always use full protection until we get tested.

Sex:

I'm only on here, rather than a traditional dating app, because it's hard to find dominant women. I'm very self-conscious about coming off as selfish and sex-obsessed simply by being here, but I'm looking for compatibility, so here's the sexy stuff.

Dick stats: 6.5in long, 6in around, uncut, curved, leans left, leaks like a faucet, shaved (pubic hair disgusts me), balls are 25x40mm (measured with calipers)

I can reveal some specific fetishes in DMs, but I will say what I'm not into. My hard limits are anything obviously gross (you know the things) plus feet, humiliation, degradation, *severe* pain, CBT, chastity, cuckoldry, forced bi, findom, ageplay, TPE, and polyamory. Please stay away if you're into that stuff. If you tell me on our 10 year anniversary that you've always wanted to use me as a toilet, I'm leaving with the kids. Still, I want to experiment in any way I haven't mentioned that doesn't make either of us feel unloved or inadequate.

I will say that my biggest turn on is providing service. I want to make you feel better than you remember ever feeling before. I want to warm you up with foreplay until you order me to move on, kiss every inch of your body, completely obsess over fulfilling your desires, then fall asleep in your arms. I want to make it clear to you that, in these moments, I am yours, I could never be more yours, and I would never dream of being less yours. Kinda cringe.

I'm a total service-oriented sub. I could dom if you order me to take control, but it feels natural to be womanhandled. My goal is to always do whatever you say in order to give you every bit of the pleasure you deserve. Any part of my body can meet any part of yours for as long as you command, and through it all, I'll be in ecstasy over the thought that you are too. I can beg for reciprocation, or just shut up and enjoy my role, or you can pleasure me instead, if that's how you're feeling.

I love earning my own pleasure. I'd be disappointed in myself if my service wasn't good enough to warrant nurturing from you in return. I want to impress you, then I'll know I was rewarded for being such a good boy.

I'm happy with any form of experience. If you're comfortable with letting me give you an orgasm, or five, but you're not comfortable with giving me one, that's ok. You don't need to feel guilty, as long as we can still cuddle afterwards. I'm not trying to portray myself as a pushover - like you can use me selfishly and I'll pretend to be okay. I just genuinely want to bond with you as much as I can at a pace we're both comfortable with. Also, I'm a stoic robot who doesn't need to cum. I won't keep coming back if I'm just an object to you, so please just don't lead me on. I always assume that my presence is unwanted, so I want to find someone who can finally convince me that they like having me around

Conclusion:

I don't see myself as a fetishist just because I'm submissive. If a woman is submissive, that's "normal", but if a guy is, that's "not appropriate work talk". I'm just trying to find someone who's compatible. Our date can be totally platonic. I expect nothing from you, I just want to have a good time with a great woman. I welcome whatever fun activities you have in mind, like going back to your place and petting all of your dogs (please).

I value openness, honesty, and communication highly, so I made a list of things I consider to be "red flags" of mine, which you can ask me about before we meet. I'm just uncomfortable with the thought of going on a date with you while there are things about me that would have caused you to stay away if you knew. I don't expect you to do the same, I personally just feel a bit deceptive if I don't. I know it's not typical.