Hi ladies. I'm sitting here in a tropical paradise, surrounded by people my age (mid/late 30s) and I just can't connect. I spent one day with a friend of mine and that was ok but I really wish I had even one person outside of my family that I felt completely at ease with. Someone to call, to tell jokes with and watch documentaries with and just feel 100% confident that our relationship is mutual.

I'm tired of feeling like I don't know what to say or do - what's the right joke, the right body language, of course they didn't lije this game, why did I say that? I don't want to feel like a trick pony trying to entertain for my life. I want at least one kindred spirit. All around me people are just making friends and collecting lovers and I'm just lost. Friend, lover, idc - I just want to be in a social situation where I feel like I can breathe.