It's a paradox but there are women who are considered highly desirable who I think find themselves to be some of the most lonely.

I have found myself on both sides of the fence. I have features that are deemed sexually desirable by facial and some bodily standards but as a very plus sized woman, I lack the societal respectability to bridge the gap from the cool girl or friend with benefits into girlfriend or wife.

I think of famous women considered sex symbols who struggled consistently to find the one. Elizabeth Taylor, Marilyn Monroe, Ava Gardner, Jennifer Lopez, Charlize Theron. These are women considered the pinnacles of desirability, legit sex symbols and they have all either been married and divorced 4 times or more, passed away with no partner and no prayer like poor Marilyn. Charlize Theron was single over 10 years between her divorce and current relationship.

We must stop measuring our level of beauty, value and worth by our relationship or marriage status. By when a man deems us as worthy of loving.

In a misogynistic society, the highly desired are cut down, disrespected and sacrificed right along with the overlooked. Loneliness comes for many, many women.

I know there are women here who feel beauty is the answer. I won't lie, it surely comes with privileges in some way, shape or form.

But you cannot eat beauty. It cannot hold you. It cannot warm your cold body. It cannot fill the void that howls inside you. It cannot bring peace. It cannot end war. It cannot cure depression. It cannot stop death.

It can garner some swipe rights. Some likes. Some cheap pick-up lines. Some one night stands that make you feel used, empty. That make you look in the mirror and whisper "whore" and cry silent tears. Is it really any better?

Can there be room in the lonely women narrative for those in every part of the spectrum of what is and what is not considered beautiful.

It's like the more of it you possess, the wider the door is open, to those who consume, taking more and more pieces of you until you're an empty shell.

Hold fast to your pieces. You have value. As the sexy harlot. As the wallflower. The Madonna. The virgin. We all fall asleep, feeling unloved and wondering when we will be enough.