why is it so hard? when will I catch a break? i’m so tired. this is really just me venting bc I have no one to turn to, but like…you talk to someone and get your hopes up bc it seems promising and things just always fall flat. laying in your bed at night trying to just sleep it all away but feeling so fucking empty you can’t even rest peacefully.

I’m 28 and I don’t have a single friend to my name. Fucking embarrassing. I can’t tell you how awful it feels to have so much you want to talk about but never having anyone to reach out to that equally wants to talk to you.

I have siblings but I don’t talk to them either because the only time I hear from them is if and only if I reach out first. Or if they need something from me. It hurts. I’m the oldest and I feel like because of that, they think i’m always fine and don’t need to be checked up on. I obviously don’t live with them so it’s kinda like ‘out of sight, out of mind.’ It hurts feeling forgotten. Insignificant.

I just want to feel special to someone. I just want to feel like someone’s priority and vice versa. I just want to not have to worry and doubt whether or not someone feels the same way I do about them. I just want my energy matched. I just want, for once, someone to care about me the same way I care about them. To not be given up on.

God, I just want to feel something other than this constant ache in my heart and this heaviness in my chest.