I tried so hard to be outgoing when I got to college. I tried to constantly wake up with hope. But as always, people fuck it up. People are mean. What you see online, that's real life. I partied, drank, smoked, etc, just to get the snap from a few people and never speak to them again. I'm so tired. No, I'm exhausted. I end up alone in my room regardless of what I do and in the process I've caved to society. I wanted to fit in. When I alter my face with makeup, I'm treated totally differently. When people tell me I'm pretty, it's only in that form. I see people in friend groups and I'm so envious. How? I have to take performance anxiety meds just to exist? How do people not sweat when talking to someone? And how do you know who to trust?