It's Canadian Thanksgiving.

It's the first major "family" holiday since my partner left me. We were together 5 years less two weeks.

They left me because I didn't tell them I had to apply to social assistance (SA) a year ago in order to get by. We didn't live together.

My family is extremely low income and this past year came within 3 days of being homeless due to a reno-viction. I'm a freelance musician. Covid killed my job for 2.5 years. (Ex)Partner comes from a wealthy family of doctors, engineers, and can trace their lineage directly in their town to 1660 (in Canada) Their family was one of several that founded the town their in, and own a large tract of land. I am a first generation Canadian (both my parents are immigrants who had very little schooling)

Just prior to the pandemic my mum broke her hip on some ice and was out of work for 7 months. The same week, my father had a stroke and was thrown out by his partner (my parents are divorced) He now lives in a nursing home.

I got let go from a full time music job in July of 2019 and used what savings I had to get by until I found another job in Jan of 2020. Then the pandemic hit.

My partner panicked at the start of the pandemic (as most of us did) except they retreated to their parents place - a 4 hour drive away from where we lived. They told me it was only going to be two weeks - it turned into 9 months.

They came back later that year and things seemed to go fine, until they retreated back to their parents this time for 6 months. During this time I had to go on SA, i didn't tell them because their family always made comments on how poor I am and how worthless people on SA are.

I panicked and as someone with panic, anxiety and major depressive disorders, I got scared and didn't tell them. They found out accidentally. Then left me . They then (a few weeks after) wanted to work things out and because I loved them I jumped at the chance to fix things. This summer things were getting better until they told me they "tried" but couldn't get past the "lie" (to them not telling them about having to go on welfare is lying)

They left me for someone they met - and i shit you not- while playing minecraft, and lives in the US. This person left their wife and kids and moved closer to the border so they could date. They are now dating despite only having met in person once, 12 days ago.

Two weeks ago it was my ex's birthday and I asked them to dinner and that's when they told me they didn't love me anymore, and to "get over it" and that they still "deeply care for me." And want to stay friends when my being around them doesn't hurt anymore and I don't look like "someone died" ...they also told me that they only took me out for my bday (in August) because they pitied me because they knew I wouldn't have anyone else to celebrate my birthday with.

They gave me mixed signals of flirting and promises of kisses and cuddles and.. just

I am so completely broken, alone and feel utterly exhausted, overwhelmed depressed and at times suicidal.

I lost my best friend. The one. I am alone.

Edit; I'm 35M she just turned 29.