I recently described my life to one of my friends I see once every 4 months as being a side character in everyone else's lives. The closest I could come up with is Stuart in the big bang theory. Sure he's friends with the rest of the gang but they don't see him every day, he doesn't get invited to eat supper or play video games woth them. He even tells them about being depressed, going g to therapy, and how shitty his life is and they do almost nothing to help him or include him until Howard let's him stay at their house.

I have multiple friend groups but I'm always an outsider no matter what I try to do. I'm not invited on road trips, vacations, concerts, or even daily/weekend hangouts. But on the rare occasion I am invited, people tend to talk about how fun they had on this trip, or a funny story about that event, etc....

I try to hint about wanting to be included with that stuff, like, "Oh man that sounds like so much fun! Wish I could've seen that!" Or, "I haven't done something like that years! I'd love to do that again sometime"

I go about my life 99% of the time alone, or just in the background of everything going on in other people's lives. No matter how hard I try to include people in my life or improve the quality of me, it just never seems like enough.