Coming to terms with being a single mom at 28..never did I think I’d be here, but here I am. I’ve posted before about my sons dad cheating ect. But he also has a drinking problem that I didn’t even know existed until we moved in together. After the realization, a lot of his actions started to make sense. Now that we don’t live together it’s easier for me to put it out of my head but it’s also easier for him to do as he pleases in regards to alcohol. I’ve given up trying to help, I grew up with an addict so I know that my pleas are falling on deaf ears. Im just sad for my son. He’ll be 5 next week and for the past 3 months it’s been a struggle to get his dad to call and check on him, he was only seeing him one day a week because of his job. he’s been kicked out of his parents house so the only time my son gets to see him is when he gets a hotel room (or I get it for the two of them) or if we meet at a park. He’s become so lazy in my sons life and it pisses me off because they were really close before the move. Part of me feels bad but the logical side of me can recognize that he wasn’t going to change if I stayed. instead I was becoming bitter and I didn’t like that. I was the only one paying rent, buying groceries, cooking, cleaning and tending to our child during the day until it was time for me to work overnight. And then I’d do it all over again. The goal was for him to get on his feet to help me but it never happened. So here I am. And it’s not fair.

In regards to dating I don’t even know how to navigate that. I’m sad because I feel like I’ll be alone for a while because I have a kid. The stigma against single parents just really sucks. Most nights I find myself pissed of that I let my life get like this. But at the same time seeing how happy and content my son is on a daily let’s me know that I’m doing something right. It’s just hard and lonely. I know this feeling isn’t permanent but gosh does it suck for the time being :(