Every day I try to do something that I enjoy, whether it's a drive down country roads listening to music, or binge watching one of my favorite movies or tv shows, opening a new bottle of wine with a charcuterie board, enjoying a glass of whiskey with a steak dinner I've cooked. But over the past few years what I used to think was the freedom to do what I want when I want has slowly turned from happy freedom to sad loneliness.

Yes, I'm sad that I'm single but I'm also sad that I don't have friends to enjoy these moments with. When I invite friends to do something I always get some sort of excuse as to why they can't come, and I understand, we're adults we have busy lives. But I am never invited to anything that they ever do. I will see snapchats or IG/facebook posts on parties, resteraunt outings, road trips, etc... that I am never invited to.

People keep telling me that having all this time to myself is a blessing and that the best days are the days you have to yourself. What they don't understand is I spend every day alone, the most social interaction I get is when I go to the gym and the grocery store. I feel like I'm slowly losing myself until I become a shell of a human being.