Why am I the one that has to initiate conversations with people, or put in most of the effort to try to maintain them. It was my birthday last week and some people messaged me wishes but when I replied with a thanks and asked them how they were, I was mostly just left unread with no reply. This happens often with an general attempts to make conversation too. After a message or two, no more replies.

Also, I'm always the one that has to attempt to catch up with people. I'm never asked by others to hang out and I don't understand why. Even on my birthday, I felt so sad every time someone asked me what I got up to because I didn't see any friends, and no friends asked to hang out or to celebrate it together. I felt too anxious to ask anyone because I don't even know who to ask and I feel as though I'm putting pressure on them to hang out. It makes me even more upset that I don't feel confident enough to ask anyone and get a yes in response :(

Please excuse me for rambling on without utmost clarity, but I just wanted to speak what was on my mind. Thanks for listening.