I've been reading a novel or two a week since December. I don't have friends I can hang out with or a significant other. I have kids and a family that needs everything from me. Pulling myself together every morning for their sake takes most of my strength. Ive accepted that no ones going to hold me, i will never get a tag team partner to help carry the load, I don't get to be feminine or weak even for a second, tenderness is nothing I've ever no known & never will. I understand and keep going

However, I've been living vicariously through all the characters imagining what having someone who loved you would be like, what it would be like if the father of my children had been happy I was pregnant, actually loved me...or our children. What would it be like to held by someone who truly loved me? How amazing old sleep be?

Its painful to read sometimes and I know they aren't real life. Relationships and friendships aren't easy but its nice to think someone somewhere might actual have the real thing. I hope whoever else is feeling lonely right now finds the real thing.