I've been feeling pretty ok the last couple of days, my self esteem has been dropping but it wouldn't ruin my day. But I just woke up feeling like garbage. Today I'm overthinking about how my dad has been completely absent from my life despite the fact that I live with him and the fact that I'm so anxious when it comes to social interaction. Quarantine has been making this a lot tougher because at least I was able to reach out and hangout with my friends but now I'm isolated with only my thoughts. That's so terrifying to me. I feel like my entire life I've been ignored and bullied for no reason other than the fact that my dad never taught me how to be a man so I look for alternatives that just made me become awkward, unsure, insecure, and constantly look for approval from my peers. All this while living an unsatisfying life is like a nightmare that I can't wake up from. Every relationship feels like a one way street and depression is there at every corner trying to ruin everything.