I’ve never really been the relationship type. I have always preached about how I never want to get married or have kids. But, there’s a part of me, hidden very deeply inside of me that does want that life. I always push it down because I know that what I want doesn’t exist. I’m going to sound like a naive 20 year old girl, but, just like so many others, I want the fantasy earth shattering kind of love. The kind where you want to crawl into your persons skin because being next to each other isn’t enough. The kind where you get sick to the stomach when you have disagreements. The kind where you communicate the problems that you have going on in your lives. I know I can find people to “love me”, but will it ever really be love, or is it just lust? I’m scared that it’ll never be enough. I’m scared that I’ll never be truly happy with it, and I know that my “standards are too high” but why would I settle for anything less than what I want? I’d just rather not have it at all. This sounds silly writing out, but it’s just been on my mind recently. I hope everyone is having a good night, haha