i mean idk how to keep going anymore. honestly.

what happens when you're nothing but harmful to yourself and others? i mean i can't have fun with my friends anymore because i'm so mentally unwell and they just don't understand, and i can't get the help i need for it because of a number of reasons, like money and lack of health insurance and things like that. i can't spend time with my family for the same reason. and i can't stand being near my self because i hate myself so goddamn much that i take every opportunity i can find to mentally RIP myself to shreds because i feel like i deserve it.

i have nowhere left to go, nothing left to do, no one left to turn to. all i do is mess things up and ruin peoples' lives, im alone because of myself and there's no sugarcoating that fact. i am a fucking disgrace, im a failure, a complete JOKE of a human being, and there is ZERO reason i need to remain on this planet any longer. no one would miss me. i'll be forgotten in a week, IF that. i'd be actively doing the world a favor by taking myself out. because all i am is a waste of space.