I didn't listen to you

I kept making excuses

I didn't try taking my time

I didn't try to get to know you

I wasn't considerate of you

I didn't show or give you care

I went back on my word

I broke my promises

I spoke instead of acting

I kept taking without giving

I was entirely selfish

I had unrealistic expectations

I was hypocritical

I didn't give you a proper chance

I didn't let you in

I wasn't patient

I allowed fear to control me

I gave in to negative emotions

I was narcissistic and self absorbed

I even projected myself onto you

I didn't see you for who you are

I hope I didn't miss anything and if you want me to be gone and out of your life that's fine, I should listen to you J even if this is the only time

I have no right to keep begging for you let alone be given a chance to talk with you considering that I am the one who gave up on you and caused you so much stress and pain

If I could say anything to you it's that I am sorry for everything and that you have the right to think of me however you do, I wasn't good to you even though you were great to me

You wanted to give me everything and I was too scared and selfish to genuinely give you anything let alone stay by your side

I was too weak to hold your baggage on top of my own and I was too desperate and self centered to work with you and be the one who would help you heal and give you reason to love and to know that I cared deeply about you

I tried to hide myself because I was scared of losing you, I didn't realize that you really never had any intentions of leaving me like others had

I didn't want to be my real self because I am ashamed of who I am and the things you saw I was hiding behind the mask

I was unfair to you and I was as untrusting towards you as you were to me and I had no confidence in myself

I was always honest about my values though and that I really did want to be with you, even to this day I have wanted you more than I have anyone else

I should just accept that time is long gone though, I had my chance and I turned it down, I turned you down and confirmed what you feared

I can't turn back the clock on my decisions no matter how much I wish and regret, I know you're never coming back let alone giving me another chance

I have no choice but to accept that if you wanted to reach out you'd have done so by now, I don't have anyone to blame but myself for the fact you want nothing to do with me

I am sorry and I will no longer continue to try and get in touch with you and get your attention, it's over, I have lost and I will finally accept that

I am sorry for all the damage I have done, for not seeing you, hearing you, valuing you and for making you feel unsafe.

Sincerely - Hex (Formerly)

For anyone and everyone who reads please let this be a lesson for you as well, do not make my mistakes and give your person genuine love and care, always do your best to give back what you take instead of taking and being afraid to give back or open up.