Because I make all the bad decisions

Because I seldom stop to think

Because I care too much and exhaust myself

Because I exhaust myself and stop caring

Because I become selfish to fill a void

Because I allow myself to lose

Because I destroy everything good I get

Because I don't see myself as worthy

Because all I know is pain and misery

Because I don't believe in anyone

Because I don't trust anyone

Because I think and believe only the worst

And the list goes on, and as it does it all just points to the fact that I give up too easy, I quit, I let go, I push and throw away only to regret it and want back what I could have had once I finally realized that they were genuine and good

That's why I always lose, because I forfeit and then go pity myself when everything was my own fault

I have more pain in my heart from self infliction than I do from actual betrayals and deceit

And ultimately I end up being the one to leave when I feel like I am about to be left and abandoned

I am just as much the villain in my own way as the people who I fell victim to throughout my life

Because I don't see myself as being enough for anyone, no one ends up not being enough for me

Unfortunately that held true the one and only time I really was enough for someone.