I deserved you

You didn't deserve me

You cared about me

I didn't give you care

You tried to be with me

I gave up on you

You tried to give me another chance

I selfishly did not accept

You wanted better for and from me

I gave worse to both of us

You wanted to be enough for me

I didn't let you be enough for me

You wanted me to earn your trust

I wasn't patient enough to do that

You saw the good and bad in me

I only saw the bad I feared

You saw me and wanted me

I didn't see you and I rejected you

In truth I really did and still do want you though, not the idea of you

I have no excuses for my wrongs, I was selfish and I am solely responsible for losing you and for all the damages I have done to us both

I can't blame you for not wanting to reach out, I don't blame you for wanting nothing to do with me

I did everything wrong and I never gave you the proper respect and understanding I should have

I know there's more to add to the list above, I know I refused to remove the mask and I chose it over you

You really tried to give me a chance and I didn't even give you that much, I know that I don't deserve to hear from you let alone beg you for another chance like I have been doing

Still though I do believe in redemption stories and I do believe that sometimes some doors don't always have to remain closed

I know that you won't believe anything I say, especially with how I burned you and didn't deliver on any of my promises

You were supposed to be my person and I believe that whole heartedly, we were supposed to belong together

You were the most real, genuine and beautiful person I ever met and it's my fault for everything

It's my fault that I couldn't control my emotions, it's my fault that I pushed you away and made you feel like you were not enough for me

It's my fault that I gave up on you, it's my fault that you didn't see things going any other way

Everything that happened after is my fault as well

I should have believed in you, I should have listened to you, I should have cared more about you, I should have given you a proper chance and reciprocated your efforts when I had the chance to

I know I gave that up, I know it's my fault that I don't deserve it back, that I don't deserve you back

All I have been wanting is to reconnect with you, to redeem myself and have another chance with you

I want to really grow with you, I want to show you that I can do better and be better

You mean a lot to me, you mean everything to me and I would be willing to risk everything just to make things right with you

This will be my last time making this kind of post, I swear it

If you decide to reach out please don't be a stranger

You know who I am

The Hunter, The Shapeshifter, The Wolf, The Tiger, The Hex, The Nugget, and my real name...

From- Caleb

P.S.

I really never meant or even wanted to give up on you let alone cause you the stress and pain that I did.

Just know that I will always welcome you with open and loving arms and I will wait for you.

I would happily give you the things I should have if you gave me another chance and I would willingly and happily earn that chance from you.

Nobody could ever be better for me than you and nobody could ever mean nearly as much to me as you.