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I could go in about numerous downfalls I’m dealing with but one things that’s been on my mind constantly is that I’ve only ever had one REAL relationship in my life. I’m a 25 male, just went through a break up in March of this year and no matter what steps I take, to try and move past hardship I find myself in a situation with woman where I hold back. A sense of fear of leaning into something serious because every little “good” thing reminds me of my ex. Even if it’s something positive. It puts me into a awareness that this moment of happiness “as far as emotions” cant compare or even if it does it scares the living shit out of me and I seem to push away from any progress as far as relationships. I’m absolutely scared of losing someone again and having to reignite another loss. Maybe I’m just the kind of person who needs to rely on love and companionship. Idk.. makes me think to go to therapy so I can find out something much deeper about this whole time I’m my life and how I actually feel with my history but it fucks me up
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