I feel like a total loser, I'm ashamed of myself for being the way I am, when I start feeling too bad about that I just can't bring myself to go outside. I don't wanna be seen and pretend I deserve to be around other human beings. It’s like an irrational fear when I have to go out and I get overwhelmed by anxiety and most of the time I can’t get over that fear.

I gotta go to uni in 40m and I already skipped this morning because I was too scared. I can be fine for weeks and months but when “it” hits, I become socially & life disabled, I feel myself becoming an even bigger loser. I just wanna lock myself in my room and never see the light of the day again.

I'm so tired, everytime I try something, I just end up miserably failing and it depresses me even more, nothing interest me, no motivation, I don’t care about what life has to offer, i'm just not interested in living, it sounds lame but it’s how I feel, idk how to push through that mental state and a part of me don't even wanna get out of that state, I been this way since I was born and i'm so exhausted, I just wanna give up, I hate myself so much