Why do I feel this way? I want somebody to love me, share special moments with. Why does that take up so much space in my mind when I have so many things to distract me from it? Dating apps are worthless, and I’m too nervous to approach someone in person when I go somewhere (which rarely happens). It seems everyone else I know has no issues finding partners, and yet I struggle. It’s not like I don’t have friends, I have a few. I just struggle to shake the idea from my mind that someone should love me in a more intimate sense. I turned 20 this year and planned to invite a girl over and spend it with her as I don’t enjoy large parties. She never showed up and never offered an explanation or apology. She was out of my league anyway, but little moments like that have built up over the years and it almost makes me think I may actually be unlovable, despite whatever good qualities I might have. I crave the love of someone who I will never find.